Last Updated on April 21, 2020 by Kinacle.

Let Go Of These 8 Things To Become A Happier ParentLet’s face it, being a parent isn’t easy. It can often feel like a never-ending cycle of stress, worry and frustration. By the end of the day, the only thing you feel like doing is getting into bed and slipping into a long, deep coma!

However, there are ways to make parenting that little bit easier. Changing your mindset and a few simple habits, could make a massive difference to your parenting journey. So, if you’re looking to become a happier, more relaxed parent in 2018, here you’ll discover some of the top things you need to let go of.

1. Comparing Yourself To Others

One of the most common mistakes parents unknowingly make is comparing themselves to others. Social media has brought a lot of positives, enabling us to keep in touch with friends and family all over the world. However, there’s no denying it’s also contributed towards a “comparison culture”.

Seeing statuses from parents gushing about their perfect children and lives can make us feel like utter failures. It makes you wonder where you’re going wrong and why your children can’t be as well behaved as everyone else’s. What you don’t tend to realize is that their lives aren’t as perfect as they seem. They too have days where their baby has kept them up all night and covered them in a poonami! They just don’t post anything about these less than perfect days. So, in reality you’re comparing yourself to something which isn’t even real.

Although it’s tough to break the cycle of comparing yourself to other parents, doing so will make you massively happier. The next time you catch yourself wishing you or your children were like others, remind yourself they too aren’t perfect.

2. Guilt

As a parent, it feels like there’s always something to feel guilty about. Whether it’s guilt from needing to return to work, or guilt that you let your toddler eat candy for breakfast because it was easier; guilt is a very common yet destructive feeling.

When you feel guilty, it drags you down, making it impossible to be happy. You need to start trusting in yourself and realizing that you’re making the best choices to meet the needs of your family. Even if you make mistakes, it’s all part of being a parent. Nobody gets it right all of the time. So, stop feeling guilty. Refuse to feel guilty! By doing so, you’ll end up a lot happier.

3. Over Worrying

Again, worry is all part and parcel of being a parent. However, over-worrying is not. So, how can you tell the difference? Well, as soon as the worry takes over your mind, or if you’re worrying about something which might not even happen, that’s over-worrying.

You’re always going to worry about your children to some degree. However, what you need to remind yourself is worrying is nothing more than a waste of time. It’s not going to change the situation and it’s certainly not going to alter the outcome or solve anything. All it’s going to do is add stress and unhappiness to your life. So, the next time you catch yourself tied up in knots over something which might not even happen, stop. Take deep breaths and resolve to stop over-worrying. Distract yourself with something else if you need to, just don’t let it drag you down.

4. Putting Yourself Last

Your priorities definitely change when you become a parent. Naturally you’re going to start putting your child first. However, this doesn’t mean that your needs aren’t important too. Putting yourself last isn’t noble and it’s definitely not going to help your child. What they need is a happy, healthy parent. So, this year it’s time to start putting yourself first again.

This doesn’t mean you need to be selfish. It just means you need to start making time for yourself and your needs. Make sure you get your regular health checks and you have the odd day, or even just an hour, where you do whatever it is you want to do. Doing this will make you a much happier parent, which in turn will make your children much happier too.

5. Unrealistic Expectations

Before you became a parent, you likely had an image of how you thought it would be. Looking back on that now, is it exactly what you thought? Probably not!

At the end of the day, you and your children are only human. Nobody is perfect, we all have flaws and life isn’t always going to turn out how you expect it to. And you know what? That’s perfectly fine! Holding on to unrealistic expectations is only setting yourself up for disappointment and frustration.

6. Fear

How often have you not done something because of fear? Like guilt, fear can be a very powerful emotion. It holds us back, makes us miserable and limits our opportunities. If you let fear dictate what you and your children do in life, you’re never going to be happy.

So, whatever your fears may be, this year resolve to face them. Often, our fears are never as bad as we truly imagine them to be. When you face and conquer your fears, it brings a great sense of empowerment and also makes life a lot more fun!

7. Caring What Others Think

Do you often find yourself worrying about what other people think of you and your parenting skills? If so, you’re definitely not alone. So many parents let other people’s opinions dictate what they do, say and how they act. However, what you really need to realize is that the only person’s opinion which truly matters, is your own.

This is your life and your parenting journey. If other people disapprove, that’s their problem, not yours. As long as you can look yourself in the mirror and be proud of who you are and the decisions you’re making, that’s truly the only thing that matters. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but you really don’t need to listen to them. Focus on what you think and remember that there will always be somebody who disapproves or feels you could be doing something differently. It’s impossible to please everyone so don’t even try.

8. Thinking You Need To Be A Super Parent

This one ties in closely with unrealistic expectations. There seems to be an unwritten rule these days that parents need to be able to do it all. Again, social media has played a large role in the development of this belief, as we frequently see other parents seemingly managing to create the perfect balance.

You feel you should be able to take care of your children, maintain a clean home, go to work, cook delicious homemade meals, maintain an active social life and keep yourself in shape. It’s what other people do, so you should be able to do it too right? Wrong! This isn’t actually what most other parents do. Most parents struggle just as much as you do, they just may be better at hiding it. Even the rare handful of parents who do appear to do it all, don’t have it as together as you might think. They may be over-stressed and unhappy with the consistent pressure. Or, they may simply get a lot more help than you do.

So, ease up on yourself and stop trying to be the perfect parent – they don’t exist! Just focus on doing the best job you can. As long as your children are healthy and happy, that’s all that matters.

Conclusion

These are just some of the things you really need to let go of in order to be happy. It sounds easy enough, but the truth is, letting go of these thoughts and behaviors is tough. It’s not going to happen overnight. However, with persistence and perseverance, it is totally possible to let go of these things that are weighing you down.

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  1. Wow i learned a lot from this blog…honestly im not a perfect mother..i have a short tempered….but i want to be a perfect mom to my son a good example as well but how can i do that if i cant fix my attitude or i cant control my anger as well…now i learned my lesson…and ill try to apply what i learn to this blog…it help me grow as a mother…..tnx to you author..

    1. No parent is perfect, Jackielou. We all have flaws so don’t worry about it. The good thing is that you are willing to change your imperfections to become a better parent. You’re in the right direction. Keep it up 🙂

  2. Guilt usually takes control of me. My wife is a teacher in the community college and her class starts in the morning, Therefore, she is away from home until 11 in the morning. When she is away, I have to look after the baby. I am a freelancer working from home. It feels like a guilt to return to work when the baby is crying. I try to tell myself I will complete this work and return to the baby and soothe him, but I cannot continue working when the baby needs someone by his side.

    1. I don’t think you have to feel guilty when prioritizing your child. Caring for your child is more important than work. You can do all the work you can once your baby is asleep or happy to be by himself. You will feel more guilty if you kept on working while your baby is crying at the top of his lungs. So attend to your baby first and once that’s done, go back to work 🙂

  3. Comparing oneself, worrying and fear are the major factors that I found very powerful in making a parent not happy with how life has been with him or her. Always putting yourself in a scale with others is only going to make you look inferior, without you knowing that no two fingers are equal which rules out the need for the comparison.

    Worrying won’t get you anywhere in life, as much as fear won’t add any benefits to your cause, so therefore it’s in the best interest of the parents to do away with both things and live their lives normally and happily as well.

    1. A certain degree of worry and fear is fine because we can’t help it, but if it becomes too much and one becomes too overprotective, it’s not healthy.

      Sometimes I am also guilty of comparing myself with other parents with kids who have really responsible kids who help at home. I’ve taught my teen boys to do house chores but I can’t seem to get them to voluntarily do things at home, it really becomes frustrating at times.

      1. From experience I have a victim of such comparison on a child being responsible and helpful with home chores. There was this women in our yard who happened to be jealous of how I always wake up by midnight to fetch water in our dug well because of water scarcity during dry season. It got to her so bad that she had to open up one day that I’m always working for my parents at home unlike other male children in the yard, that she is very jealous of how I help my family out. I was shocked hearing that from her because I never expected it.

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